Workin' on my fitness

Welllllll for the past several months (since June 1, to be exact), I have been working on being healthier. I've been getting pretty darn chubby, if ya ask me. It was time to do something about it. Not because I want to fit the worlds idea of "attractive", but because I want to be healthy. I want to wake up in the morning without hating the way I look. I want to make life changes now to ensure a healthier future.

So far, I have lost 18 lbs all together. This has not been an easy task, mind you. I make mistakes regularly, and I still have about 9 more to go. Here are some pictures...

Before....pretty yuck.

After...getting better.

Like I said, I still have a little ways to go, but I think I'm doing alright. I've had awesome support and encouragement! Not to mention a great workout partner!

This last weekend, I ran/walked my first 5K. Next year, I will run the whole thing! Yay.

Just wanted to share. :)

Sometimes I wonder...

Sometimes I wonder if this will ever be resolved.
Am I always going to be broken, dysfunctional?
I wonder how many more tears I will cry before this is all over....if it ever is.
I wonder if I'll ever feel comfortable talking about this openly with my close friends.
I wonder if it's always going to hurt.

The pain, I can handle. The anxiety, I cannot. It's an emotional rollercoaster that refuses to stop to let me get off. I am thankful that there are steps to be taken to mend the situation. But at times, I'd almost rather live with it than deal with it.

To calm my nerves and my tears, I keep myself busy. I workout at least 5 days a week. I've been needing to get myself back into shape. 11 pounds down so far with about 10 more to lose. It's easy to stay focused on my fitness when I'm using it to ignore my problems. Whenever my muscles get too sore, and exercise is out of the question, I play my guitar. Don't think. Just play. Sing your heart out. Play until your fingers bleed...as long as you don't think!

I wish you could know what I'm talking about. But I'm not brave enough to tell you. One day I will be. Just not today.

Just...life.

A little less than 4 months before the big move. I'm only stressing about a few minor details such as: where are we going to live? Should we buy a house? Should we just rent? Where am I going to work? Should I go back to school for a masters? Shouldn't I be taking the GRE? ughhh

So I bought a plane ticket this weekend. For a weekend trip to NY to search for a home. Because the town we are moving to is quite small, I am having no luck getting much done online as far as house/job searching goes.

I don't just want any ol' job. I want to do something that matters. I want to make a difference everyday. Wishing I could work for UNICEF or YWAM or something awesome like that.

To keep myself from stressing out too badly, I bought myself some goodies off of etsy today. If you need some cute fall headbands, check out this blog. You won't be disappointed!

Recap!

Crazy, busy, WONDERFUL summer. So far, I've gone to Disney World and to my best friend's wedding in Destin. I have two more weddings in the next two weekends...and it's only June! Here are some pictures from my journeys.

I love summer and all of its adventures. If only I didn't have to find time for work in between!

Changes in Attitudes, Changes in Lattitudes

It's hard to believe that I have been out of college and away from Arkansas for an entire year. It's even crazier that I sort of miss it. This is certainly a time of frequent change for me. Seth is graduating in December. I thought it would take forever, but it's sort of sneaking up on me. Upon his graduation we may (or may not) be moving to western New York. I know, scary right? I love NYC though, and we will only be a few hours away from a Broadway show for a date. SCORE! I am currently working on applying for grad school and a scholarship/assistantship. We'll see how that goes.

Yes, I'm excited. But I already get so homesick, and I'm only 7 hours away from home. I can't imagine being 19 hours away. I miss being home...late night card games with my grandparents, 4 wheeler rides with the cousins, catching lightnin' bugs at night, fishing in the Shookville pond, chillin at Strawberry bluff with my dad-o. It's just not fun growing up and moving on. The good news is...God is in control. No matter where I am or what's going on, He's still on His throne. That's my only peace. **In the arms of Your mercy I find rest**

I'll keep you posted. ;)

I'll leave you with this lovely spring picture...

Oh Brother!

Today, I feel like writing about my brother. His name is Steven Tyler Clayborn. I call him Brother. You can call him Tyler. He's pretty crazy. Completely unpredictable. A musical genius. Some people say that he's self-centered...and I just don't really care for those people. We've had our ups and downs, as most siblings do. And there are times that I would love to beat him up, but...No matter where I am or what trouble I have gotten myself into, I can always count on him to come to my rescue. He's been my hero on several occasions, and I don't ever expect that to change.

Seriously, if you have never heard my brother perform, you are missing out in a BIG kind of way! He will be performing in Alexandria, LA on May 5 at Spirits. He's actually going to let me do 4 or 5 songs with him! Cause he loves me.

You should really try to come. If you live far away, I'll try to figure out how to post a video on here so you can hear him.

Tyler has been the only constant in my life. No matter which parent I was living with, or where I was in the world, Tyler was always there. He understands me when no one else does. He's my brother. He's my friend too. I just love him. Can't ya tell?

Great Song...

Just wanted to share this song...been on my mind all day...

I've been lookin' til my eyes are tired of lookin'

Listenin' til my ears are tired of listenin'

Prayin til my knees are sore from kneelin on the bedroom floor

I know that you know that my heart is aching

I'm running out of tears and my will is breaking

I don't think that I can carry the burden of it anymore

All of my hopes and my dreams and my best laid plans

are slowly slipping through my folded hands

So I'm gonna lay it down

I'm gonna learn to trust you now

What else can I do? Everything I am depends on You

And if the sun don't come back up

I know your love will be enough

I'm gonna let it be, I'm gonna let it go

I'm gonna lay it down

I've been walking through this world like I'm barely living

Buried in the doubt of this hole I've been digging

But You're pulling me out

I'm finally breathing in the open air

Oh this room may be dark but I'm finally seeing

There's a new ray of hope and now I'm believing

That the past is the past, and the future's beginning to look brighter now

Oh, 'cause all of my hopes and my dreams and my best laid plans

Are safe and secure when I place them in Your hands

So I'm gonna lay it down

I'm gonna learn to trust You now

What more can I do?

Everything I am depends on You

And if the sun don't come back up

I know Your love will be enough

I'm gonna let it be, I'm gonna let it go

I'm gonna lay it down.

Monday Monday

I have a trouble jump-starting my week. Monday just isn't my favorite. So I'm going to start today off by elaborating on my excitment for the new season. I am excited for Spring/Summer Because...

1. SNO CONES. I am addicted. I love sno cone season. It just brings back so many memories for me. My favorite flavor is dreamsicle mixed with cotton candy!

2. My Sugar is getting married! ON THE BEACH! And I am going to see her this weekend to get fitted for my beautiful bridesmaid dress!

3. I AM GOING TO DISNEY WORLD! I've never been. The Currie clan is loading into a huge van and DRIVING to Disney. I absolutely cannot wait. May 12-18!

4. My Friend Chelsey is ALSO getting married! She's most certainly one of the best friends I've ever had. She deserves so much happiness, and I am thankful that she has found it!

Clearly, my summer is going to ROCK. I can make it through the work week I suppose. I mean, how else am I going to pay for all of these marvelous adventures?

"You give me joy that's unspeakable!"

Beautiful

Have you looked outside lately? It's GORGEOUS! I am getting very excited about Spring/Summer! Summer is always crazy busy for me, but I love every moment of it! Let me tell you (with the help of some pictures) about all the the things I'm looking forward to this spring and summer...

Sometime in April, my friend TiffanyJo is going to take some photos for me. Have you ever heard of Trash the Dress pictures? It's where you take pictures in your wedding dress after you're done with it. This kind of photography contrasts the elegance of a wedding gown with an environment that is out of place. Many people are not into the trash the dress pictures because they want to save their dress for memories, or possibly as a family heirloom. I am not one of those people. I absolutely LOVED my wedding dress, but I have decided to put it to great use one last time. Here are some that we like...

My favorite has to be the one with the handstand on the beach. I realize we probably won't be able to use all of these concepts. Just wanted to give you a sneak peak!

More of my favorite summer things to come later....I'll leave you with one of my real wedding pictures.

SPRINGTIME!

I have just recently moved to Louisiana. Upon my move, I was told by SEVERAL residents what to expect wheather-wise around here. To say the least, they were all COMPLETELY WRONG. It has been cold cold cold, wet, and snowy for the past several months. Not that I'm complaining-I love snow! But it is finally starting to look and feel like Spring, and I couldn't be more excited.





For my job, I do a lot of traveling throughout the region. This is the part of my job that i enjoy. I want to do the majority of my travelling during the spring. It's just so beautiful; I'd hate to stay cooped up in my office all the time!





I recently drove to Vidalia, LA for work. It's really close to the Mississippi state line. Here is a picture from my adventure!
Oh yes...this is completely serious! All spray paint, baby! I couldn't resist getting a picture. Who knows what my upcoming Spring roadtrips will have in store? I'll keep you posted!

My SUGAR

I've decided to use my blog for the next little while to lift up my friends. Each day (or so) I'll talk about one friend and about how much they mean to me. Today, we start with Courtney Nicole Holloway.

I met Courtney on a mission trip in Thailand. It was a perfect friendship from the start. She even saved my life when we were hiking up a huge waterfall...seriously! Ever since our month together in Asia, we have been best friends. We even lived, worked, and tanned together for a year! Now that we live in separate states, it's hard not seeing her everyday. It hasn't hurt our friendship at all though.

Things I love about Courtney: She's real. not like most girls. She's not all about drama at all!

-She has the cutest little accent ever

-She loves hard...with everything she has

-I could trust her with my life

-When we're together, we laugh til we cry

-"I mean, I don't have ugly friends!" lol

-Her faith is strong, and obvious to anyone she meets.

-She calls me SUGAR

Basically, If you don't know Courtney, you should get to know her. She's getting married in just a couple of months, and I am so grateful to share the experience with her. Stayed tuned. I'll post her wedding pictures toward the end of May.

Bad Blogger

Clearly, I'm not very good at blogging very often. I always intend to, but you know how it goes! Something else always comes up.

So lemme FINALLY post pictures from Valentine's Day.

I made Seth a Mailbox...I've been writing him a note everyday telling him why I love him and putting it in the mailbox. I don't like Valentine's day because people use it as an excuse to say "I love you." With this gift, it's Valentine's Day EVERYDAY. Awww :)

He got me these BEAUTIFUL flowers. : )

One of the best parts of Valentine's Day is that my Daddy drove 7.5 hours in the snow to come see me. It was so sweet! I hope your VDAY was just as great as mine!

2-10

When I was young, my favorite number was 2-10. Whenever I would hear someone ask for the time, I would look at my watchless wrist and announce "2:10" no matter what the real time was. It became sort of an inside joke for my friends and family. I even chose one of my favorite Bible verses based off of my 2-10 obsession...Eph. 2:10 "For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works.."



Even now, years and years later, I always get excited when I happen to look at the clock at 2:10 or when my hot peach tea at the coffee shop rings up to $2.10. My dad occasionally calls me whenever his clock reads 2:10. It makes him think of me.



So now that you know about my 2-10 obsession, you understand why I have decided to start my blog today, February 10th, 2010. I am starting the blog for my family and friends that I don't get to see very often anymore. Just to keep them updated with pictures and stories from everyday life.





Lately....

1. I've been trying not to pull all of my hair out at work. I realize that I'm lucky to have a job during this economic crisis-especially one in my own field. It's just frustrating. Thankfully, not EVERYONE I work with is a total annoyance. I get to escape for one hour a day with Elizabeth to go to the gym. Which brings me to my next point



2. I been workin' on my fitness. haha. No really though. I'm trying to get back in shape. Not super gross skinny like I've been before. Just healthy and happy with myself. I won't tell you specifically how much I need to lose...just a lot. Wish me good luck!



3. Starting to work on persuing my dream...be assured that you will hear a lot about that in all of my future posts. Have a casual meeting with a guy this weekend; hoping to get some insight on what my next move should be.


4. It's almost VALENTINE'S DAY! I used to despise the holiday. It really is pretty lame. But now that I have someone to share it with, I like it a lot more. I have an excellent idea on a sweet, inexpensive gift for him. I'll be sure to post pictures of it next week!


Have a great 2/10 everyone!